This is a crazy time of the year for our family. Kids go back to school so we get back in the hang of getting up early, getting ready and out the door to catch he school bus on time, followed by 6 or 7 blissful hours of silence in the house while all 5 of my school age children are getting a fine education in the public institution.
Wait a minute! I homeschool!
That explains why the kids don't give me 6 to 7 hours of peace each day. . . it also explains why this season is a little overwhelming at times. Back to class time, back to dance lessons, back to Awana, I'm back in class two evenings a week, and Mike is working one evening each week to make up for a half day while he's taking classes towards his MDiv.
Did I mention this is a crazy time of year for our family?
I don't know how the rest of you do it, but we are trying to figure this out: How do you connect with your spouse, how do your kids connect with their father, how do you get enough of each other with the 8 to 5 schedule?
We've always had unusual schedules because of ministry jobs. Mike has always put in 40 hours or more, but many of those have been in our home, with our family, or in settings where we are all together anyway.
So now he does what the rest of the world does and we're really struggling to feel connected. He misses the kids and feels like he is failing them by seeing so little of them. He misses me and gets lonely and I just get plain grumpy when I don't get to be with him. I have to admit to being spoiled by his flexible schedule up to now and I'm going a little bit bonkers by the days without his occasional relief. Without a pinch hitter I'm not nearly as gracious and gentle with my children as I otherwise would be. . . (ok, so gracious and gentle may not be the adjectives that leap to your minds when you think of me, but work with me here).
So really, how do you do it?
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3 comments:
Hey my friend and cousin,
It's hard isn't it! Thank goodness we have helpful and understanding husbands! I couldn't do it without mine. With our four boys, three of them now into something extra curricular, I am getting a taste of what I suppose others thought a big family would be like. I think you do a wonderful job! I can't imagine home schooling, although my Luca missed home today and I thought for him, I could do it! :)
There's certainly not enough hours in the day, huh? I can only think of limiting the extras, but then as parents, we wonder if they'd be missing the opportunity of (sports, dance, music etc...).
Jody and I have kept our date night/week, and at least one morning together before the "hustle and bustle". Love you and can't wait to see you at the end of the month.
Dena, I wish I thought I could answer in such a way that it would apply to your life but I am not sure I can. 2 kids versus 5; both in school till 3 versus home with you most of the day...Anything I can offer I feel is inadequate to meet the challenges you guys face.
David takes Michaela to school at 8 and then goes to work. He leaves the office at 5:30 which gets him home at 5:45. We eat dinner, he usually plays with the kids (wrestling, volleyball, football, cricket or rugby in the front yard) or a board game or something like that. About 7 he gives Spencer a bath. Michaela bathes and then we do pj's, teeth etc etc and jump into bed for reading time. David usually reads with SPencer and hangs out with him while he is falling asleep. Then he usually spends a little time talking to Michaela in her room before she goes to sleep. David and I have time together, usually with things to do from about 8:45 till we go to bed. With tea at 10! Usually he tries to eat lunch at school with one of them every week. He is home on Friday and usually goes to school to pick them up. Saturday is obviously a day for all of us.
HIm and I try to do a lunch date once a week. We usually have real date nights about twice per month.
I know it is hectic and none of us want to live that way.
Dena~
I don't think that I have to much to offer on this subject as I am really just starting to get a taste of it. Yes, Corbin has always had a 8-5 sort of job, but life was pretty simple with only one child. Now with 2 kids under two I am finding that it is a much bigger challenge to connect with eachother. I think once we get past the newborn stage I will have more engery to put into connecting. These days our "dates" consist snuggling in bed watching a movie. Usually with Norah nursing away, and me falling asleep 30 minutes into the movie. How sad :( Not really, though. I am enjoying this time in our life. I guess what I try to remember is that life is times and seasons. I really try to enjoy the season that we are in no matter how crazy or exhausting it may be remebering that this too shall pass.
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